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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 4:24:07 GMT -5
Astin blinked. And he blinked again. He raised trembling fingers to his lips, but the tingling sensation that Dastan had left didn't exactly go away.
"Did you just... kiss me?" he asked breathlessly. What did that mean? Was Dastan just screwing with him now. Probably. He was a horrible human being. But how horrible? Horrible enough to...? Nah. No way.
Astin tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it was stuck. He reached for a glass of pumpkin juice to aid in his endeavors, but his hand was shaking so badly that he sloshed some of it clear onto the table. Crap.
He took a long drink, but that only made him feel sick. What was Dastan doing to him? When had he been poisoned? Maybe Dastan had put a nasty potion in the food.
Yeah. Okay.
Astin placed a hand on his stomach, as if that might stop it from churning. All these nerves were going to make him sick. And there Dastan was, going back to his food! What the heck!
He imagined his next letter home. Dear Mom, please forgive me. I think I'm gay for my bitter rival.
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 4:34:26 GMT -5
Dastan fought with himself for a moment before the next words left his lips. In the end, he knew that he had to use words that would cut like a knife. He had to sever this bond now, before it got out of hand.
Allowing his face to screw up into a mocking expression, Dastan scoffed. "You didn't honestly think I was serious did you? Pfft. It was a joke, Astin. That kiss was as pointless and empty as kissing a stone wall. Do you think someone like me could ever kiss someone like you and have it mean something?"
What Dastan didn't say, however, even to himself, was that the reason someone like him and someone like Astin could never be serious was because he himself was tainted by Nezam. He wasn't worthy of being liked by someone in that way. Not seriously, anyways. But the way he justified the comment to himself was that Astin wasn't worthy of him. And he wanted Astin to feel that. "You're nothing to me, Descartes."
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 4:45:41 GMT -5
Astin clenched his hands into fists as he felt tears well up in his eyes and his heart fell into his stomach. He stood abruptly. He didn't even realize what he'd done until he connected the stinging in his hand with the reddening print on Dastan's face.
He opened his mouth to apologize, but his angry heart decided to add in a few choice words.
"You... you... you bastard! I can't believe even you would stoop that low! Just because you have issues doesn't mean you have to be such a... such an ass!" He turned his face away to hide the hot tears he felt on his cheeks. "I don't care what you say," he finally whispered, his voice cracking. "I make you feel something and you know it. And you don't like it."
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 5:02:21 GMT -5
Slapped. Dastan hadn't let anyone lay their hands on him since he had left the slave industry alongside Lord Alex, unless that hand was for healing him. And yet, he couldn't find it in himself to blame Astin. He had meant to sever the bond, and he felt he had. Especially if the tears were of any indication. Guilt, cold and dark and more pronounced than he thought he had ever felt, grew inside him and he felt the strangest urge to apologize. But he couldn't. The bond was severed. He'd done his job. At least, he'd thought so.
And then, Astin spoke.
"I make you feel something and you know it. And you don't like it."
There they were again; the words that cut through Dastan's well-crafted armor like an enchanted blade. Balling his hands into fists, Dastan tried to think of what to say. Instead, he sat there, silent and unmoving as he tried not to let those words make it to his 'cold black pit' of a heart.
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 5:14:30 GMT -5
When Dastan didn't respond, Astin feverishly wiped the tears off of his florid cheeks. "Yeah, okay," he muttered. "Just sit there, pretend that I don't matter to you. It's all you know how to do, right? You think that trying not to care is going to make me leave? Is that it?" Astin grabbed Dastan's robes for the second time that night, but this time there was no good intent at all behind it. "I'm not going to let you sit there and hope I'll walk out of your life, so you might as well let loose on all those insults! Call me an idiot! Just..." Astin's grip loosened, and he let the robes slip back out of his hand. "Just don't sit there and say nothing," he pleaded. "Don't let me leave."
He wiped at his face again, but it was completely useless. The tears were flowing freely now, and they weren't going to stop for a long time. He hated himself for letting this get to him so much. He hated himself for making that stupid move and kissing that stupid jerk on his stupid, amazing lips.
And he hated himself for ever liking that stupid jerk and his stupid, amazing lips.
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 5:28:55 GMT -5
Wetness dripped down Dastan's cheek, warm and salty. Dastan, shocked, reached up to touch his own face. When he pulled it away a single droplet sat in his fingers. He stared at it a long moment before realizing that it was a tear. Astin...Astin had made him cry? Who had he become? And was he still capable of achieving his ends if he became this person he felt he was becoming with Astin there, forcing him to feel? Was it so bad to be a human?
"You're an idiot," he finally managed, smiling lightly despite another tear trying to fall from his face. He wiped at it, and then wiped it on his robes.
Steeling himself, he glared up at Astin. "And if you've got some kind of weird need to be insulted, by all means, stay around. But I'm not pulling any punches to spare your girly-feelings." There, that sounded much more like himself.
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 5:39:03 GMT -5
Astin all but collapsed back into his seat. He didn't bother turning to face the table. Besides, he wasn't hungry anymore. He was torn between laughing and screaming and crying some more. He swore Dastan was TRYING to kill him.
Astin turned his head up to apologize-- then his eyes caught Dastan's face, and he felt even worse. In addition to the wonderful red handprint on his face, now his eyes were also rimmed with red.
"I, um. I'm sorry. For hitting you." He looked back at the ground until something else struck him. "Wait a-- MY girly-feelings! You're crying too, you jerk-face!"
That felt good. Arguing felt good.
This relationship was so messed up.
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 5:47:06 GMT -5
Dastan huffed indignantly and turned the other way, trying to seem as annoyed as possible. "I'm not crying. I'm just...whatever." He scrubbed at his face harder, trying to remove all of the crying evidence.
He didn't know what to feel, honestly. The whole situation was...it was just off. He had never expected any of this to happen. No relationship in his life had ever worked out like this, and he wasn't sure exactly how to proceed. Still, insults were easy enough. As long as they weren't of the kissing variety.
"Jerk-face again? Honestly, what happened to the creativity you displayed earlier? With the margarine?" Dastan said, getting things back on track. He would just roll with it for now, and see where things went. It was strange, not directing his every move. And now, he realized suddenly, he had not only kissed a boy in front of his upperclassmen, but he'd also cried in front of them. God. He was never going to succeed at this rate. The Hufflepuff tendency to failure was rubbing off on him. But Dastan couldn't feel too mad about it.
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 5:57:38 GMT -5
Astin rolled his eyes. Of course Dastan would vehemently deny crying. At least he didn't try the old stand-by, "I've got something in my eye."
"I suppose the emotional exhaustion zapped all my creative intellect for the night," Astin said, going back to staring at the floor. "You really are tiring, you know. I think I'm only putting up with you to spite you." Astin rested his chin in his hand and looked up briefly. "I hate you, you know," he said, although there was no malice in his words. "A lot. Really. I'm pretty sure that any similarity between you and humans is entirely coincidence." Okay, maybe he was still a little up for banter.
This was easy. Pretending to hate each other was easy. Kisses, on the other hand, were off-limits. For the moment. Very briefly.
Astin resisted the urge to groan. He was going to do something stupid again later, wasn't he?
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 6:06:25 GMT -5
"I'm sure you're right about that. Being human is highly overrated. In fact, you're very human. Very mundane. Even below par. It's almost pathetic how absolutely, atrociously normal you are. I think I hate you, too." Dastan scowled for effect.
"And I'm clearly far superior. Nevertheless, I think we've made enough of a scene. I don't think I'm ever going to live down the humiliation you put me through today," Dastan said. While it was true that he found it annoying that this idiot was still here, he felt he could get used to him. "We need to get out of here."
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 6:17:33 GMT -5
Astin smiled to himself. We. Dastan said, "We need to get out of here."
"Sure, you hate me," he agreed happily. "That's okay, though. I much prefer being human over being a hideously deformed, grotesque snake." He'd never insulted anyone with a smile before, until now. It was going to quickly become a customary greeting, if it hadn't already.
Astin stood and waited for Dastan to do the same, to lead them away from the scene they'd apparently caused. Which, by the way, was entirely Dastan's fault for being complicated and difficult.
"Well then, where to?"
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 6:24:05 GMT -5
Dastan glanced sideways at Astin. "I'm impressed. If it weren't for that smile, I'd have been actually insulted. And I didn't get as much of an urge to laugh as before. Keep improving, Descartes, and maybe you'll actually learn to insult with finesse," Dastan said.
Finally, he stood from his seat and stretched.
"Well then, where to?"
"Uh...how about the Astronomy Tower? It's still my favorite place. If I could, I'd die contented up there."
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 6:39:08 GMT -5
At the use of his name, Astin's lips twitched. "Have you always called me by my last name?" he asked. "If we're going to hate each other, we might as well do it right, after all." He spun around as he walked, feeling light for some reason. Maybe it was the lack of food. Had he lost weight? "And I don't know how you of all people plan to teach me to 'insult with finesse.' It obviously hasn't worked too well for you so far; I'm still here."
Astin twisted his back both ways, cracking it and making half the females within a mile's radius wince.
"And if you're lucky, you just might die up there. I've thought about slamming your head into the walls more than once."
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Post by Dastan Cross on Jun 15, 2010 6:47:14 GMT -5
"Imagine that! I've often imagined tossing you over the railing. You looked pretty scared in Astronomy the other day. And was that a little Gryffindor first year that pushed you over? If so, I find that incredibly embarrassing. And you should, too." Dastan began walking towards the exit, then turned back around.
"You coming? 'cuz I would enjoy teaching you how to insult with finesse, which, while it doesn't work on you, works on most everyone else. I think it's the fact that you're too idiotic to ever really notice that you ought to be offended. Anyone else would've left long ago," Dastan said, a distant look coming into his eyes as he thought that over. In fact, anyone that wasn't Lord Alex HAD left him long ago. His parents, Dorri...
Shaking his head, Dastan didn't wait for a response from Astin and instead left the Great Hall, heading to the Tower.
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Post by Astin Descartes on Jun 15, 2010 7:00:16 GMT -5
Astin half-jogged to catch up. "I'm a Hufflepuff, though. It's my job to make everyone else seem superior. That way, no one expects it when... well, I'll let you figure that one out." He winked. Crying had made him awfully... comeback-y. Weeeird. "And I'm not too stupid. I just like annoying you." He noticed the odd look that passed over Dastan's face and, again, had to jog to catch up. "Hey. You know you're stuck with me, right? Like, for life. Until I drive you insane and you jump off the Astronomy Tower." Astin pretended to check his nonexistent watch. He doubted wizards had watches, but he was a muggle-born, darnit, and he enjoyed his technology. "Which very well may be... I'd say, thirty minutes from now?" He looked up. "Maybe sooner. You're awfully... mood-swing-y tonight."
Because Astin totally wasn't. At all.
Astin also lived in a near-permanent state of denial, especially when it came to his rival Dastan. It was comfortable, there, at least.
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