I Just Hope I Don't Hurt You... Too Bad.

[Viola Stratford]

Viola was a tiny bit flustered when Elena broke their contact. It was probably nothing, she just didn't want to be held. But still... That little voice in the back of her head kept whispering to her that Elena was embarrassed of her. That she didn't want to be with her anymore. It was all a lie.

She pushed the acerbic thoughts away. Elena loved her. Any other thoughts were a lie. She fought to keep a grin on her face. "Of course, a duel sounds nice. I've never been in a real one before. See you later Griffin, Griffin Sosario."

She tugged a little on Elena's hand and they started walking side by side back into the school. "Elena... I wanted to talk to you about that night at the boutique. I got hurt, and in doing so, I almost got you hurt by trying to protect me. I just wanted to thank you. But, promise me if something like that ever happens, you will put your life before mine." She knew as soon as she said it, by the look on Elena's face that she wasn't going to. She had to try a different tact, and it broke her heart to do it. She used the same line of reasoning that got her sorted into the Slytherin. She dropped back into her old habits. Emotionless face, cold voice. It was the only way.

"You take care of you, I'll take care of me. I can't pretend that I'm strong enough to just stand there trying to protect you and me. And you aren't powerful enough to protect the both of us either. So just worry about yourself. I'll be fine. Heroics are what caused me to get injured anyway. I don't want you to fight for me, okay?" Oh, Elena, forgive me.

Elena was quiet all the way to the Dueling Hall. Viola didn't know how to break the chilly silence. Tears were prickling in her eyes for what she had done. It was necessary though. Elena's life was worth more to her than her own. A decidedly Un-Slytherin feeling. What was the Sorting Hat thinking?

"So.... Here we are. The Dueling Hall. Don't go easy on me, okay? I need to get ready. You-Know-Who is only getting stronger. That Death Eater the other night could have killed me on a whim. Even after I disarmed him." Please, take your pain out on me.

[Elena Davis]

"Elena... I wanted to talk to you about that night at the boutique. I got hurt, and in doing so, I almost got you hurt by trying to protect me. I just wanted to thank you. But, promise me if something like that ever happens, you will put your life before mine. You take care of you, I'll take care of me. I can't pretend that I'm strong enough to just stand there trying to protect you and me. And you aren't powerful enough to protect the both of us either. So just worry about yourself. I'll be fine. Heroics are what caused me to get injured anyway. I don't want you to fight for me, okay?"

As they walked to the Dueling Hall, Elena felt her heart and stomach sinking. Why did she sound so cold. I can't do that, Vi. She kept silent as they got there and simultaneously they looked up at the large wooden doors.

"So.... Here we are. The Dueling Hall. Don't go easy on me, okay? I need to get ready. You-Know-Who is only getting stronger. That Death Eater the other night could have killed me on a whim. Even after I disarmed him."

Her jaw locked and the sinking feeling disappeared from her chest, replaced with anger. She turned and looked at Viola, her eyes flashing with green fire. "Is this what you want, Viola? You want me to just go my own way when we fight? To watch only my back like a selfish git? No! If that's the way you think then there's something severely wrong with you." She lurched her arm out, punching one of the stone walls. Pain shot up her wrist and arm but she couldn't bring herself to care. She looked down, her hair falling into her eyes and covering them. "We're dating, aren't we? We're in love. What the hell makes you think that I'm going to let you stand there and be killed? Huh?! I can take care of myself when it comes to dueling, but I'll be damned if I can't take care of you! Damn it, don't you see? I want to take care of you, I want to be there, I want you to lean on me so you won't have to do it all by yourself anymore!"

Hot tears stung her eyes but she wiped them away hastily then looked up at her. Her green eyes were still narrowed, but there was a hint of pain in them now, longing mixed in with regret. "It killed me when you got hurt. And you did that trying to protect me. It killed me. So really, who's the one that needs to get stronger? Me. If you want to train with me and practice so we're both stronger, fine. If for some reason you're alone and you can't call on me to help you fight Lord Voldemort, fine." She ignored the slight wincing. "But I'll be damned if you think you're doing this alone."

[Viola Stratford]

"Is this what you want, Viola? You want me to just go my own way when we fight? To watch only my back like a selfish git? No! If that's the way you think then there's something severely wrong with you."

“Yes, Elena. That’s exactly what I want. I want you to care about yourself for once. And I know I’m messed up.” Her cold façade started cracking. It was almost audible. “I know it, you know it. It’s the way I am though. I thought you accepted me that way.”

She winced when Elena punched the stone wall. She was being irrational now. "We're dating, aren't we? We're in love. What the hell makes you think that I'm going to let you stand there and be killed? Huh?! I can take care of myself when it comes to dueling, but I'll be damned if I can't take care of you! Damn it, don't you see? I want to take care of you, I want to be there, I want you to lean on me so you won't have to do it all by yourself anymore!"

“What makes YOU think that I’m going to stand there and let you be killed for me? I know you can take care of yourself. You’re an exceptional witch. I can take care of myself too though. And when we forget to protect ourselves, that creates rifts that our enemies can get through. I don’t want you to take care of me. I want you to take care of you.” Everything was going wrong. Or actually, the right way, It was unfolding how she had expected. Not how she wanted. She grabbed Elena’s hand, the injured one, and held on tight. Even after she tried to yank it away.

“In the end, all we are is truly alone. We can live together, fight together, die together, but we can’t be dead together. It’s not the way it works. We have do things by ourselves. This is one of them. You-Know-Who will cut us both down if we both stay to fight. That’s why I want you to run from him. At least one of us will survive.” She was angry, now she felt only sadness.

“But if you want to fight this, fine. Let’s fight. Let’s get this duel over with.” She could feel the fire burning in her again, she crawled up on the platform that really looked like a long table and pulled out her wand. “Ready or not E.”

[Elena Davis]

“What makes YOU think that I’m going to stand there and let you be killed for me? I know you can take care of yourself. You’re an exceptional witch. I can take care of myself too though. And when we forget to protect ourselves, that creates rifts that our enemies can get through. I don’t want you to take care of me. I want you to take care of you.”

Elena watched Viola begin her counter-argument, speechless at first. Rifts? What the hell kind of rift would form from covering them both with a protection spell? "This isn't about rifts, Vi, this is--" She stopped in mid-sentence when she felt her broken hand covered by Viola's strong grip. She let out an involuntary cry out pain, yanking it away immediately. Or at least, she tried to. The Slytherin girl kept a hold on her, the grip unrelenting. Pain shot up her arm in powerful waves, making her feel nauseous. Stars exploded in her eyes, followed with hot tears that stung them. With her free hand, she reached up to push the girl away. Nothing else was registering; she just wanted the pain to cease.

And suddenly, Viola dropped her hand, still talking. Elena held it gingerly, looking down at it. It was turning a nice shade of purple already. Good thing it wasn't her wand hand, or it'd be a problem... She looked up at Vi, eyes narrowed again, and for the first time in her eleven years, anger welled up inside her, consuming logic, consuming all other emotions. Something deep inside her was screaming in protest. This was wrong. This was so wrong. She needed to stop it. But..."...That’s why I want you to run from him. At least one of us will survive. But if you want to fight this, fine. Let’s fight. Let’s get this duel over with. Ready or not, E."

She watched as Vi stood up on the platform and held out her wand. Elena's entire being flared up with rage and resentment. Her broken hand temporarily forgotten, she found herself ascending the steps to get up on the platform and she met Vi's determined gaze with one filled with disgust. Stop, don't do this, this is bad, you're letting this get out of contr-- "Oh, I'm ready, love." The word dripped acid. "You want a real fight, then fine. You've got one. I ha--" She couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to say she hated the girl. That, however, didn't stop her from making her next move. "Let's hope you're ready. Incendio!" Let the games begin.

[Viola Stratford]

"Let's hope you're ready. Incendio!"

Viola dodged the blue flames that Elena sent her way. “Oh, I’ve been ready for a much longer time than you can imagine, E. Petrificus Totalus!” Half of her wanted to curse Elena into oblivion, into a million tiny pieces until she was just dust in the wind. For the other half, it felt like her heart was being ripped into a million tiny pieces, dust in the wind. Her spell missed, she wasn’t surprised. Elena really was a talented and Extraordinary witch. Magic came readily to Elena. But Viola had to fight for each spell to come to life.

She ducked as a whistling green bolt flew her way. “You know, expelliarmus, sometimes you just don’t know what’s good for you!” Obviously, Viola wasn’t good for Elena. She messed up her hand because of her. She was almost killed by Death Eaters because of her. Maybe this duel would be a break for them. End things. Then Elena would be safe, and she would forget Viola eventually.

She jumped as another spell clawed its way through the air and towards her feet. She was getting tired of the same old, simple spells now. They were easy to dodge and predictable. Now it was time for a little fancy spell work. “Serpensortia!” A nest of snakes burst from her wand. They seemed surprised by all the activity and hissed. Now for the coup de grâce. “Oppugno!” The nest of snakes seemingly forgot about fleeing, and with a single minded intensity slithered across the dueling platform toward Elena. Viola erected a shield charm, Protego, to ward off any more spells. “So I hear you like snakes, darling. I mean, you fell in love with me! Sick, twisted, snakelike Viola!”

[Elena Davis]

Elena froze, her eyes widening in horror as the snakes slithered towards her. She felt herself take a step back but couldn't bring herself to move anymore. Memories, repressed horrors from her earlier youth flooded back to her. Her brothers stuffing her pillowcase with live snakes, leaving her alone with them in the dark. She could still hear the loud hissing, could still see their fangs puncturing the fabric, even now. Memory and reality blended together, making her scream. Still, the snakes advanced. Snap out of it. Do something, protect yourself! Do not let this stop you. You'll die. You'll die!

Elena felt her paralysis fade, but it wasn't enough. She scrambled her brain, attempting to remember a spell, any spell that would save her right now. She gulped, feeling her breathing quicken. The snakes were almost at her, close enough to lunge. She locked up, and as if on automatic, her wand pointed itself at the snakes. "Reducto." She heard herself say it, felt her lips move, saying the word, but Elena was gone, repressed. What was left was an empty shell. One that had one intention only. To fight back. She stepped around the exploded bits of snake and held her wand up rigidly. She was calm now, not driven by fear or anger anymore. She didn't know what was worse. At least, not yet.

"Sectumsempra." She watched as the spell penetrated Viola's shield and hit her leg. Inside, Elena screamed. Stop it! "Puteulanus flamma." Blue fire surrounded Viola, encasing her. Elena cocked her head to the side. The flames wouldn't actually hurt her, just keep her in until either Elena decided to stop the spell or died. She knelt down in front of the fiery prison, peeking in through the flames. She watched her in silence, watching her try to stop the bleeding. "I have a question. Why is it you want to fight me so bad? What are you really trying to prove? Are you trying to get rid of me? Does it feel right? There's no escape now, so you might as well answer me now." She took in a deep breath, finding it strangely easy to keep calm and collected. "What is it you want, Viola, truly? You want to be an ugly old hag, alone with no one around you? You want me gone? Or are you just afraid you're weak and pathetic?" Inside, Elena tried to claw her way out. This wasn't her. This was a stranger, taking over her body. She wanted to cry out in anguish. She was losing it. The thing most precious to her, and there was nothing she could do about it.Viola, please forgive me. I'm sorry.

[Viola Stratford]

Sadness swallowed Viola at the thought of what she was doing to Elena. The snakes were obviously scaring her. Much more than she had intended. But… If that’s what it took to get Elena to see reason, then she would do it. Elena was not going to die because of her. She would do whatever it took. Even of it meant ruining everything. She watched at Elena destroyed the snakes, one by one until there was naught but ash left. She had wasted her time, now Elena was turning wand back to her. The shield would hold. Maybe they wouldn’t have to fight anymore. Maybe everything would resolve itself now. No. That was impossible. She didn’t even see the spell hurdling toward her. She heard her shield shattering, could see the webbing that looked like fumes the air that meant her shield was broken. Broken, like their relationship. A tear slipped from her eye, even before the dark curse sliced her leg open.

She screamed and dropped to one knee. She couldn’t help it. It was a slice like a knife, but deep, and bleeding profusely. Through a haze of tears, she stared numbly at it before she realized that she needed that blood. She took her robes and wadded them up against the cut. She jumped with a shuddering gasp when blue flames burst into existence around her. Elena was demonstrating her remarkable talents. Just as she’s wanted. She tried to clear her eyes as Elena walked calmly up to her and leaned down to her level.

"I have a question. Why is it you want to fight me so bad? What are you really trying to prove? Are you trying to get rid of me? Does it feel right? There's no escape now, so you might as well answer me now. What is it you want, Viola, truly? You want to be an ugly old hag, alone with no one around you? You want me gone? Or are you just afraid you're weak and pathetic?"

A tinge of fury flashed through her, Elena being so cold. Her eyes were dead looking. This was the opposite of how things were supposed to be. Viola was the cold one. Elena was supposed to be the one crying. It had to be. That was the plan. She put on her cold face and voice, to match Elena. “I’m fighting you, because sometimes, you just don’t get it. Maybe I do want to be an ugly old hag, always alone. It’s my choice. But, I am never weak and pathetic.” She felt something crack inside of her. Her face convulsed once before she got it back under control. For the first time, she looked Elena in her dead cold eyes.

“E, I’m dumping you.”

She whispered ‘bombardo’, her wand pointed at the table beneath her. It blew the table in half, causing Elena to fly back, and Viola to be dumped four feet onto the stone floor, among the splinters of wood. The spell worked, the flames were a cylinder around her. She simply went low enough to get out of the blue flames. But she didn’t feel victorious. All she wanted to do was lay there.

[Elena Davis]

Her heart stopped beating. It broke into a million pieces. The words reverberated through her entire being. "E, I’m dumping you.” Over and over, the words repeated themselves. She barely felt it as she was flung backwards from the blast. Everything was numb. There was nothing there. This was wrong. She couldn't--girls her age weren't supposed to feel this way. Girls her age were supposed to worry about make up, and other normal things, not feel heartbreak. She curled up, the light in her eyes escaping her. She just wanted to lay here. Involuntary tears welled up in her eyes and streamed out, dampening the dusty floor. She didn't care anymore. Without Viola she was nothing. She didn't care if she was being over-dramatic; it was true. "I'm sorry..."

It was a whisper, barely audible, but she repeated it over and over.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

[Viola Stratford]

Viola could hear her from where she was. Repeating that same sad song over and over. “I’m sorry…” She had no idea how much she was hurt. She felt to exact same way, it was as if a piece of her was broken now. After what felt like hours, someone came by. She couldn’t see who it was, through the haze. She just felt herself be picked up from the rubble. They were being careful, she could tell, but it didn’t matter. The pain was agonizing. But it was a world away. All she could think about was how she had hurt Elena. For the best, for her. It was all a lie. It sounded like a hollow feeble excuse to her.

Even in the hospital wing, after dozens of potions and spells, Elena was the one thing on her mind. Even after she went to sleep, she had dreams. It was all over. Her life as she knew it was ending. She missed nothing, but she missed everything at the same time. “Elena….”