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Post by Xing Yan on Aug 11, 2010 6:29:23 GMT -5
((OOC: It's okay. Computers are mean sometimes. And that's not a small post. ^^))
Xing was too dumbfounded to speak. His eyes were unfocused, his fingers touching his lips. He was just kissed by a boy. A boy. He was dragged by Rose around the corner, away from the other people that Xing didn't seem to know was there. "Maybe we should get to bed before...Uh the prefect find us. Here let me get those from you." The books were taken from his grip. Good timing, or else he would have dropped them soon. "I am sorry I almost got you in trouble."
Rose apologising snapped Xing back to reality. He shook his head, shaking the nausea out. "It's okay. It's not your fault. I don't think he would have given us a detention." He sounded a bit out of it. Getting surprised kissed by the same sex would have strange effects on the easily surprised. "I think, I should go now. In case they come back to really give us a detention."
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Post by Rosemarie Willington on Aug 11, 2010 11:59:57 GMT -5
(( OOC- It was before I fixed it... I only read your post at first then replied then went back and read everyone else's post then had to go back and fix it...)) Maybe maybe not, I don't think I want to go ask him though. Yeah I think we should to. I'll see at the library. Rose said. she would've hug him but her hands were full and she wasn't sure if he was up to it after what happened. She smiled and waved to him as she finished her walk back to the dorms. She smiled happily to herself, Xing was so nice she couldn't wait to meet up with him again. She liked him, as a friend of course, after all they just barely met.
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Post by Astin Descartes on Aug 11, 2010 20:48:41 GMT -5
"I wish things could be normal between us. But they never will be, Astin. Certainly not with me. If you want normal, then you are definitely better off moving on, because I will never be that."
"Shut up," Astin mumbled, "Don't talk." It physically hurt when Dastan talked like that. Astin didn't care if Das wasn't normal; he wanted and needed and adored him beyond belief. Even now, with his heart a mere heap of broken shards, the embrace with Dastan made it seem like everything would be okay in the end.
It wasn't, though, and it wouldn't be. Astin wanted to believe it could be some day, but he wasn't so sure about that. Das certainly seemed to think that nothing between them ever would be normal or even remotely okay. Of course, Dastan was cynical and overdramatic, but that didn't mean that he was wrong in this case. Being with Dastan had made Astin feel more pain than he'd ever felt, and yet he also felt a thousand times better than he had before-- especially with Dastan's arms around him.
Astin tightened his arms around Dastan's waist and snuggled closer. He both hated and loved this; he hated that this didn't mean what he wanted it to, and he hated that he loved it. He loved the way their bodies fit perfectly together and the wonderful warmth Das exuded despite how cold he acted. He loved that Dastan said it wasn't right and yet held onto him so tightly. It made him feel needed and wanted; it made him feel important.
Astin closed his eyes. In Dastan's arms, he felt safe and secure. He wanted to curl up and go to sleep, because nothing could touch him now-- not so long as Das was holding him. If nothing else, he could trust Dastan with his life. And he did, and he would, and he had, and he would do it again and again. Das was a better person than he claimed to be, at least when it came to Astin. And that was all that mattered, wasn't it?
Even if it wasn't, that didn't mean Astin could do anything about his feelings. He loved Dastan. There was no denying that. He only wished that he could admit it out loud.
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Post by Dastan Cross on Aug 11, 2010 22:51:32 GMT -5
"Shut up. Don't talk."
Dastan sighed and did as Astin bade him. Holding Astin made him feel like he really was in that dream. When had things gotten like this? How long had he secretly been in love with Astin? Dastan didn't have a clue. He only knew that he had cared greatly for the other boy, even when he had tried not to, and that he needed him. He hadn't known on what level, though, apparently. He wished he could have been more normal. Then he could give Astin what he wanted without ruining everything.
He loved Astin. He loved Astin. He fucking loved Astin. It was crazy; Dastan had thought himself incapable of such emotions. He'd never known love. Not once in his entire life. Admiration and gratitude, yes. Respect, most definitely. Fear, more than his share. But love? Never.
Which begged the question, how did he know it was love? Was it the way that he was aching to hold Astin, just like this, forever? The need to spend every moment he could with the other boy? The way he frustrated Dastan to no end and yet Dastan endured it and even enjoyed it? The fact that Astin knew everything about him and still chose to remain by his side? Whatever it was, Dastan couldn't deny it anymore: he was feeling love for the first time in his life, and for once, he wished he could choose a different destiny.
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Post by Xing Yan on Aug 12, 2010 5:45:43 GMT -5
"Okay, I'll see you there." Xing smiled and waved back at her. Being with Rose calmed him a lot it seemed. He watched her head off into the darkness until he couldn't see her light anymore. He turned around and then realised something. He didn't have a light! What an idiot he thought. Maybe he could try what Rose did. What was the word again? "Lu... Lumi?" He flicked his wand a little like Rose did. It didn't work. "Maybe it was... Luma?" He tried again, it didn't work. "Lu... Lumu? No, it was something else... Lumo? No wait." He tried hard to remember. He knew he was close.
"Lumo... Lumon? No, it was... Oh!" He flicked his wand again, saying the words "Lumos!" The tip of his wand lit up, a light big enough to make his way back to his dorm. He nearly jumped for joy, but decided against it and waved the wand about instead. He succeeded in a spell already! Xing stopped flailing about as he realised he was supposed to go back to his dorms. He walked the rest of the way there, fascinated by the light of his wand.
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Post by Amancio Calzadilla on Aug 17, 2010 22:58:30 GMT -5
Amancio quickly wound his way through the halls. He'd encountered half a dozen students out after-hours already tonight. Detention would be crowded come Monday afternoon. What was it about balls that made the children stay out so late? Not to mention, two of his more well-behaved students had been quite clearly drunk. This was why he hated parties so much; everyone lost all common sense.
Two more children-- his own students, he realized-- were standing around: Eirwyn Hall and Griffin Sosario, if he recalled correctly. He hadn't known they were even friends; they'd certainly avoided each other well enough in class. However, judging by her hand on his arm, they were each other's dates tonight. He supposed stranger things had happened.
He sighed. He liked them well enough; it was a shame to give them detention. After all, it was only one mistake. Even so, he was obligated to treat them just like all the others; besides, with any luck, detention would ensure that they continued to behave well in the future.
"Miss Hall, Mister Sosario," he greeted, "I do believe you're out past curfew."
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Post by Astin Descartes on Aug 17, 2010 23:22:37 GMT -5
Astin's breath was shaky with restrained sobs. The longer Dastan held him, the more heartwrenchingly perfect the world seemed; even with the pain, though, Astin didn't want to pull away. He wanted to hold onto Dastan until there were no more worries or issues or anything except them. But that wouldn't happen. Everyone had their baggage, and either Dastan's got in the way of their relationship or Dastan simply didn't want to further it; either way, it didn't exactly make Astin happy.
"Are we going to be okay?" Astin whispered. He was terrified that Dastan would say no, but he needed to hear that they would. A negative answer was a risk he had to take. The longer he stood there, stealing that fake comfort, the more afraid he was that it would all be over by morning. What if things couldn't go back to how they had been? Astin would die.
Whether he liked it or not, maybe they should both forget that this night had ever happened. So much had been at stake all night, and he hadn't even noticed. Things between him and Dastan could easily end; he'd rather go back to trying to convince himself that he didn't want to be anything more than Dastan's best friend. He just couldn't let their whole friendship fade because they'd both made a couple mistakes.
At least, that was how Astin viewed his kiss-- a mistake. He didn't want to kiss anyone other than Dastan. Sure, kissing that random girl hadn't been entirely unpleasant; it had felt nice enough. But nothing could compare to the brilliant spark that surged through him the moment Dastan's lips touched his. And, no matter what he said or what Das suggested now, if he couldn't kiss Dastan, Astin couldn't kiss anyone. It was just wrong.
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Post by Dastan Cross on Aug 17, 2010 23:48:10 GMT -5
"Are we going to be okay?"
Dastan thought about it. Hard. He didn't want to lie to Astin and say that it would be perfectly okay. Because that wasn't ever going to be the case. But he also didn't think that they'd be completely not okay either. It really just depended on what one meant by 'okay.' And Dastan decided to tell Astin the truth.
"I don't know," he said sincerely, taking a deep breath, "But really, it depends on what one means by 'okay.' Will things be perfectly normal between us? Probably not. However, I have to believe that things won't go completely downhill. I...care about you. A lot. And I need you. I have a lot of baggage, and I'm probably the worst friend a person could have or want. You know that better than anyone, but yet, you stay. That should be enough, shouldn't it?" Dastan sighed, and finally let his hands drop from around Astin; the more this continued, the more he wanted to blurt out that he was in love with Astin. Just admitting that he cared about the blonde had been close enough; he couldn't mean it the way he wanted to mean it, because that would be bad for Astin, and Astin didn't deserve that. Astin had been nothing but a good friend to Dastan, even when Dastan didn't want him to be. He couldn't give back that favor by hurting the only person he'd ever truly cared about in his life.
"But we can try to make things as okay as possible, right?" Dastan offered a weak smile. He felt broken inside, for some reason. He hated it, this feeling of helplessness to give himself and Astin what they both thought they wanted. Why couldn't Dastan have been more...normal? More worthy? Less tainted?
If only. But if only's only went so far, and Dastan couldn't let things get further than this. He wished life had been kinder to him; to Astin. However, that would never happen and it was stupid to think that it would. "Anyways, it's kind of late, isn't it?"
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Post by Astin Descartes on Aug 18, 2010 0:30:38 GMT -5
Astin's heart nearly dropped out of his chest when Dastan released him. He needed that embrace; he needed Dastan's arms around him tonight. Nothing had ever made things seem better than Dastan holding him. But he couldn't force hugs on Das, so he reluctantly pulled back. It was probably better to keep his distance, anyway, with the way he felt.
"But we can try to make things as okay as possible, right?" Dastan offered a weak smile that broke Astin's heart even more. This whole night had been unfair.
"I... yeah," Astin replied, "I guess." Now that Dastan wasn't holding him, he felt empty. He'd never been more unhappy that a hug had come to an end. He wanted to clutch back onto Das and cry and laugh and just pretend that things could be okay. Not sort of okay, not as okay as they could make it, but just okay. But that wouldn't happen in this lifetime. Things weren't going to be okay, because Astin loved Dastan more than anything, and Das was the one thing that he couldn't have, ever.
"Anyways, it's kind of late, isn't it?"
"Yeah... I should... go," Astin replied, looking at the ground. He didn't want to. He didn't want to leave, because he knew Dastan wouldn't stop him. Dastan had no reason to stop him. Astin had no reason to want to be stopped. Sighing, Astin nodded. Whether he liked it or not, it was getting late. And Dastan was clearly a little uncomfortable already.
"Good night," Astin said weakly. As much as he didn't want to, he turned and headed for the door. He hated this.
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Post by Dastan Cross on Aug 18, 2010 10:04:46 GMT -5
Dastan watched Astin leave. And then he cried. He brought his hands to his face and all but collapsed into a seat next to the desk, trying to stop being such a baby. But he couldn't stop, because he was more upset than he had been in a long time. He had never cried purely for himself. He'd cried when Astin overwhelmed him with kindness; he'd cried when he thought he was going to lose Astin. But these tears were all his. These tears were tears of self-pity and loathing and he just wanted them to go away.
Merlin, he wanted to chase after Astin and kiss the boy senseless. Show him what a kiss could truly mean. He wanted to hold Astin and tell him that of course it was going to be okay; how could it not be okay? With the two of them together, the world would be at their mercy. They could bend it and warp it to suit them.
But those were lies. They couldn't bend and warp the world to suit them. They couldn't change the past and they couldn't be together because Astin deserved better than some poor orphan kid that had only lived his life because of a whim by someone more powerful than the people who had oppressed him. Astin should have someone rich and powerful and beautiful and someone pure, like him. Someone that hadn't already been tainted by the world and by a disgusting person.
After a few more moments, Dastan managed to gather his wits. He wiped at his face once more and then left, heading to the Slytherin dungeons. He had finished his rounds for the night. Now, he just wanted to collapse into bed and forget the world.
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Post by Griffin Sosario on Aug 18, 2010 22:56:24 GMT -5
"Miss Hall, Mister Sosario, I do believe you're out past curfew."
Oh, no. This is exactly what he was hoping to avoid. Griffin looked down at his feet, a very guilty move. He glanced at Eirwyn before letting go of her arm, taking her hand, then pulling her forward towards Professor Calzadilla.
"I'm sorry Professor. We were at the ball and I guess we just lost track of time. We were accually on the way back to our common rooms before we bumped into you. I'm sorry, I promise that it will never happen again."
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Post by Eirwyn Lyla Hall on Aug 19, 2010 12:18:40 GMT -5
"Miss Hall, Mister Sosario, I do believe you're out past curfew."
Eirwyn resisted the urge to duck behind something and hide. Of all the people to find them out late, it just had to be the nicest, kindest, most gorgeous teacher in all of Hogwarts. Of course. That was just her luck, wasn't it? She didn't want to come off looking like a delinquent little school girl in front of him; that wasn't even her.
"I'm sorry Professor. We were at the ball and I guess we just lost track of time. We were actually on the way back to our common rooms before we bumped into you. I'm sorry, I promise that it will never happen again."
Eirwyn nodded fervently. Her face was flushed a light pink from embarrassment at getting caught out past curfew. She wasn't prone to getting in trouble, and she didn't tend to look for it either. That was simply not in her nature. (She still believed that she hadn't been Sorted correctly.)
"Right," she agreed, "We really didn't mean to. I-- I mean, we don't want to cause you trouble or anything, and just, the ball ran so late and we thought we still had some time. I'm sorry."
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Post by Amancio Calzadilla on Sept 5, 2010 14:49:10 GMT -5
"I'm sorry Professor. We were at the ball and I guess we just lost track of time. We were actually on the way back to our common rooms before we bumped into you. I'm sorry, I promise that it will never happen again."
"Right," she agreed, "We really didn't mean to. I-- I mean, we don't want to cause you trouble or anything, and just, the ball ran so late and we thought we still had some time. I'm sorry."
Amancio looked between the two of them, then sighed. He didn't want to have to give them detention, but his hands were tied. He couldn't show favoritism just because the students had no history of misbehavior. If he did that, he would have a few other angry individuals to answer to. Besides, he had his job to protect. Dumbledore might have understood, but he was sure that some other high officials wouldn't be so kind.
"I'm sorry," Amancio said, "But I can't let you off the hook. You'll have to serve detention with me Monday night, after dinner. Now please, hurry to your common rooms before you get in more trouble."
Amancio frowned. He wished sometimes that his obligations weren't so strict and firm, but he couldn't lose his job. He liked his job, and there was nothing better-suited for him. Regardless of how well he liked a student, he could not show them special treatment. That was, admittedly, unfair.
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